Thursday, October 19, 2006

Growing up and letting go

One morning earlier this week I was dropping the boy off at daycare. As we got out of the vehicle, these 2 little boys were walking with their teacher to the bus, getting ready to go to school. From the time they exited the daycare to the time they got on the bus, they were screaming across the parking lot, “Stinky Braden! Stinky Braden! Stinky Braden!” and just laughing their little heads off. I have no idea why they were calling him stinky. I thought to myself, “Maybe they are his friends and this is some sort of funny, inside joke.” I look down and he wasn’t smiling. He was frowning and looking at them as if he didn’t understand why they were calling him stinky. I realized that he knew they were making fun of him and it made me angry. Extremely angry. I said, “Oh, that’s REAL nice,” but I’m sure they didn’t understand my sarcasm. I turned to Braden and loudly said, “Gosh, Braden, I hope you don’t say things like that because that’s really naughty.” They were too busy laughing and yelling to even hear what I said. At that point the teacher finally turned his attention to them and his only admonition was, “Boys…” They got on the bus and left and I took Braden to his class and left for work. But I was furious and I stewed about it all day long. I called my husband and he stewed about it. I realize that as we grow up in life, we all get made fun of for one reason or another and it’s not necessarily something I’m trying to protect him from (just as when they are toddlers and you let them fall down and get hurt – not seriously hurt – so that when they are older they don’t completely fall apart at the slightest little pain). Yes, it stings, but it’s something we all have to learn how to handle. However, at the same time, we are trying to raise him to be nice and considerate of others and it would have been nice for him to see that if you DO choose to make fun of others, there will be consequences. All he learned in this case if that you can make fun of someone and get away with it. So when I picked him up from daycare I spoke to the director and got it all off my chest. She said she had a pretty good idea which little boys it was and that she would talk to their mothers and the teacher who drove them to school. That made me feel a little better, but now I have to deal with the fact that I was so angry that I actually WANTED to go kick some little 5 year-old asses. I wouldn’t have done that, obviously, but I so wanted to.

What’s the whole point to this post? I dunno, other than to say that sometimes it’s painful being a parent. It hurts to let go and let them grow. And it hurts to see them hurt, even when you know it’s going to happen sooner or later. But it's still worth it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You were right to be upset. That teacher should have reacted immediately. Going to the director was the right thing to do. Hopefully she carried out what she said she would. We have to stand up for our kid.

8:35 AM  
Anonymous Meira said...


Oh, no, no, no. I totally would've kicked some five year old ass. I'm not sure if I was right, but I have made 5-yr-olds cry on two occasions for pulling similar shit. I might be wasting my time, I know it's the norm on TV, but I am just completely not willing to accept that kids MUST be shitty to each other. If you simply must act like a little jackass, you may do so to someone else's kid, OUTSIDE of my presence.

It makes me LIVID. Can you tell? lol

You were completely right to bring it up. And I give you permission to be VERY loud and shock those kids with your fury if it ever happens again. If nothing else, Braden knows that you witnessed his experience and acted to change it, and that counts for big mama points.

OMG, I'm going to be pissed off all day.

9:59 AM  
Anonymous Krista said...

I would have been steaming too. I don't know what the best way would be to handle things like that...walk up to the boys and reprimand them in a firm way, talk to their parents yourself, do what you did and let the director talk...but I think it is good that your son sees that you did something because it is the beginning of bullying--that can be so damaging to kids. I so want my kids to grow up considerate too, but who knows what they will do when I am not around. It does hurt to be a parent and see our kids suffer.

12:41 PM  
Blogger Procrastiknitter said...

I'm happy to say that I've NOT been that teacher. I understand why you were upset and your whole post! Also, a belated Happy Birthday to you! ((HUGS))

10:40 PM  
Blogger TexInTheCity said...

Being Cool Aunt Texy I have had the occasion to witness such acts with my kiddos and it sucks.

My proudest aunt moment came when some kid was messing with my seven year old neice and she said in a tone scarly similar to mine.

"I COOOULD be upset with you but I CHOOOOSE to use my energy on something more production (she meant productive) like playing with MY friends" she said as she sauntered off to the monkeybars. LOL!

11:47 AM  

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