Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Back at work

I went back to work this week. On Monday I was extremely tired and numb feeling, and I think that helped me get through the day without being a weeping puddle of goo. It was hard to go back to work after I had my son, but this time is different. This time it just feels wrong. I feel like I should be home with her and not handing her over to strangers who feed her and hold her and nurture her all day. That should be MY job. On my lunch hour I am going to the daycare and nursing her, but it’s not enough to change the way I feel. I didn’t feel this strongly about staying home with my son and I don’t know why. Although I’m sad, it is getting a little easier each day. And don’t get me wrong – I’m grateful that the ladies at the daycare take good care of her and hold her all day and nurture her. I just wish it was me. So until the hubby gets a huge ass raise or we win the lottery, I’ll be at work and hating every minute of it. But hey, at least now I have time to get caught up on all the blogs I read.

Remember a couple of months ago when I was talking about a pregnant coworker and how her doctor was concerned because she wasn’t gaining enough weight and he thought her baby was going to be too small? Well, it turns out she had her baby the day before me and her little girl weighed MORE than ours. Not much (4 ounces), but it still counts. And I had gained a very healthy 24 pounds, had a ginormous belly, and my doctor was estimating we were having a seven pounder. Which just goes to show you that sometimes doctors don’t really know what is going on in a pregnant belly. So now out of guilt for being so judgmental I am confessing and driving away all the bad karma.

A recent exchange at my house:
The phone rings and it’s hubby’s work with some bad news. We hear yelling and expletives from the next room.
Me: (thinking) Dude, please. Your son can hear you.
Braden: Oooooohhh, Dad, you said “shit!” You’re not supposed to say “shit.”
Dad: (ignoring him) more yelling at the person on the phone
Braden: Mom, Daddy said “shit!”
Me: I know. I heard him. That wasn’t very nice, was it?
Braden: No, that was naughty!
Me: Yes, it was. You need to tell Daddy that’s not appropriate when he gets off the phone.
Braden: Uh-huh.
Dad hangs up the phone.
Braden: Dad, that was naughty. You’re not supposed to say “shit.”
Dad: You’re right, son. I’m sorry.
Me: Yeah, don’t let us catch you saying that again or you’ll be sitting on the naughty spot.
It was actually much funnier when it happened than as I read it now…


Blogger KatyaR said...

Oh, cool--now the Boy can discipline Dad--how neat is that?

Hang in there--it will get better. (If not, I advise buying sock yarn--it seems to have quite the calming effect, since I've started buying it like crack.)

7:46 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Wow, yarn is as good as crack?!?!?!?! I need to learn me some knittin'... LOL!

6:38 PM  
Blogger Missy said...

Oh girl, you have no idea. One of these days I'll teach you some knittin'.

11:40 AM  
Anonymous Krista said...

That WAS funny! I want to tell you I felt the same way about going back to work, and I just couldn't do it and ended up quitting. I hope it gets easier.

1:15 PM  

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